Ebbs and flows

Question: “What’s happening in my home at morning tea, last thing at night, in the car, while I’m in the bath?”

Answer: Learning.

When my partner and I externalised responsibility for our children’s education I didn’t notice the learning so much. I fretted if their teachers reported on issues, I delighted with them when they brought home creations. I was a “good” mother – went to parent teacher nights, came to as many classroom craft days as I could manage. Learning was something my children did at school and I taught them the “lesser” things – how to ride a bike, how to fold their clothes, how to bake bread.

Then we did something astonishing. We took full responsibility for our children’s learning. If they don’t know how to read, write, perform mathematical stunts or critically evaluate whatever comes their way as adults it’ll be on our heads. We can’t go round “blaming the teachers” or generally apportioning blame away from ourselves. And you know what, it feels good. This feels like a natural extension of our whole parenting philosophy such that it is as we’ve bumbled our way along bringing up four very different children. They don’t get lost in classrooms anymore, they learn at their own steady and stop start rates.

When does learning happen at our house? The last few nights has been spontaneous maths’ nights. As I’ve bathed the two smallest, my husband has washed dishes while dishing out arithmetic. Today we took a walk through a rainforest garden and the 7 year old puzzled out words while the 10 year old patiently took him through the tough ones. My four year old is learning as she washes dishes with me and as she draws more pictures. My one year old is the template of learning – when she falls, she gets up again; when she can’t quite reach, she tries again and again; she is dogged in her determination and the others (and I!) draw inspiration from her. When the children find themselves stymied by a problem, drawing their attention to her continued attempts at each thing she tries inspires them.

Trust, protection and release are all that are asked of me. Trust that the children, driven naturally to learn, minds reaching out for information will learn. Protecting them while they lack the filters that adults have grown. Releasing them to learn and grow away from me, from us. Stretching in directions that we’ve never imagined.

I didn’t ever envisage being one of these hippy home schooling mamas but here I am. Learning more than I thought I would and delighting in taking the responsibility for my children’s learning, in the ebbs and the flows.